Five years ago, in September 2009, I moved myself, and whatever I could pack into 2 suitcases (22kg/50lb limit), to the U.S.A to start a life with my then American fiancé. I moved over here having only visited in the past, and as it turns out, with no actual idea what life would be like in the Northern Hemisphere, let alone the United States! Movies can only teach you so much (and it turns out they sometimes lie!)
A lot of things have happened in 5 years, and I've learnt (learned
:P) a lot. I thought this post would be a good chance to
talk about some beliefs I had before coming here that have since
changed, and also to give you all a quick overview of things have happened in the 5 short years since I moved (and doing those things as an expat), starting with the latter.
Marriage:
Aside from moving here, obviously the biggest change was getting married, it was because of our impending nuptials that I moved from Australia, and it was because of that move that I have had so many changes in these 5 years.
Logistally speaking, planning from an ocean away wasn't easy. We got married in my husbands home state but were living in another state in the interim and that wasn't any easier (except finally being in the same timezone). It was only with the assistance of my in-laws that I got anything done as they kindly took photos of venues and helped plan and of course the wonder of the Internet helped as well.
Personally speaking, getting married overseas often means that some/many loved ones can't attend, and because I was only able to visit the U.S once, I didn't know anyone at our wedding very well (except 2 of my family members that were able to attend). I had hoped to have a reception in Australia but life got in the way and it just wasn't viable.
Family:
I'll address this is the"Beliefs" section.
Driver's license:
The hardest part about getting my license was not only driving on the other side of the road and sitting on the other side of the vehicle (can't tell you how many times I went to the wrong side) but also looking over my right shoulder instead of left (muscle in my neck and all that) and changing gear with my right hand instead of left (and I only whacked it on the door about a million times) but I did it in one go so I was very proud! I won't mention u-turns and roundabouts... scary scary
FYI - I try not to drive when I go back to Australia because it's just too scary and I'm worried I'll have an accident by driving on the wrong side, funny how things change.
House:
This is my first time owning a piece of land, and the idea that I own property in a "foreign country" was, in the beginning, just bizarre and awesome at the same time!
Getting a mortgage in my name was hard for one main reason, credit score and history. It's entirely possible for a foreign national to own property, but getting a bank loan from a US bank can often prove to be difficult. As it turned out they would have given me a loan, but the interest would have been quite large due to my lack of credit history so it was better not to bother.
It was a lengthy process with a lot of learning curves but it's still great to own our own little corner of the world, rather than rent. We’ve gradually made improvements and have plans for more and a bonus to owning rather than renting also means when stuff breaks, YOU pay to fix it!! Oh what joy I've been missing out on.
Pets:
Just under a year after arriving my husband and I got our first dog. This was the first time either of us had a dog that was all ours, rather than a family dog, and I must say it is a different experience, a good one of course.
With the dog came the experience of picking a vet, knowing what shots they need, microchipping, spaying... and of course their diet among other things. I wish they'd allow me to dress them in costumes, Halloween would be so much fun!
Job:
First I had to learn where to look for work (agencies, internet, word of mouth, newspaper) and then I had to make sure my resume/CV was appropriate for here (making sure it complied with their rules and also layout).
~ ~ CHANGES ~ ~
Marriage:
Aside from moving here, obviously the biggest change was getting married, it was because of our impending nuptials that I moved from Australia, and it was because of that move that I have had so many changes in these 5 years.
Logistally speaking, planning from an ocean away wasn't easy. We got married in my husbands home state but were living in another state in the interim and that wasn't any easier (except finally being in the same timezone). It was only with the assistance of my in-laws that I got anything done as they kindly took photos of venues and helped plan and of course the wonder of the Internet helped as well.
Personally speaking, getting married overseas often means that some/many loved ones can't attend, and because I was only able to visit the U.S once, I didn't know anyone at our wedding very well (except 2 of my family members that were able to attend). I had hoped to have a reception in Australia but life got in the way and it just wasn't viable.
Family:
I'll address this is the"Beliefs" section.
Driver's license:
The hardest part about getting my license was not only driving on the other side of the road and sitting on the other side of the vehicle (can't tell you how many times I went to the wrong side) but also looking over my right shoulder instead of left (muscle in my neck and all that) and changing gear with my right hand instead of left (and I only whacked it on the door about a million times) but I did it in one go so I was very proud! I won't mention u-turns and roundabouts... scary scary
FYI - I try not to drive when I go back to Australia because it's just too scary and I'm worried I'll have an accident by driving on the wrong side, funny how things change.
House:
This is my first time owning a piece of land, and the idea that I own property in a "foreign country" was, in the beginning, just bizarre and awesome at the same time!
Getting a mortgage in my name was hard for one main reason, credit score and history. It's entirely possible for a foreign national to own property, but getting a bank loan from a US bank can often prove to be difficult. As it turned out they would have given me a loan, but the interest would have been quite large due to my lack of credit history so it was better not to bother.
It was a lengthy process with a lot of learning curves but it's still great to own our own little corner of the world, rather than rent. We’ve gradually made improvements and have plans for more and a bonus to owning rather than renting also means when stuff breaks, YOU pay to fix it!! Oh what joy I've been missing out on.
Pets:
Just under a year after arriving my husband and I got our first dog. This was the first time either of us had a dog that was all ours, rather than a family dog, and I must say it is a different experience, a good one of course.
With the dog came the experience of picking a vet, knowing what shots they need, microchipping, spaying... and of course their diet among other things. I wish they'd allow me to dress them in costumes, Halloween would be so much fun!
Job:
First I had to learn where to look for work (agencies, internet, word of mouth, newspaper) and then I had to make sure my resume/CV was appropriate for here (making sure it complied with their rules and also layout).
I also had a little trouble finding an employer that was willing to accept my foreign work experience (a few did not), who understood my qualifications (I didn't want to pay the expensive fee to "translate" it) and who didn't think hiring a foreigner was too much work (paperwork etc).
It got a lot easier once I had my greencard and someone took a chance on me about a year after arriving. I will admit though that I didn't try for work in any other field except the one I worked in back in Australia, and I also didn't start looking until I had been here about 6 months for personal reasons.
Doctor:
Thankfully I haven't needed to see a doctor for anything too horrible (just your regular strep throat, tonsillitis etc) but I still struggled to pick a "family doctor" and late last year I finally picked another one closer to home (my first choice ended up being awful) but have only met her for the "meet the doctor" visit so will have to see how it goes!
It got a lot easier once I had my greencard and someone took a chance on me about a year after arriving. I will admit though that I didn't try for work in any other field except the one I worked in back in Australia, and I also didn't start looking until I had been here about 6 months for personal reasons.
Doctor:
Thankfully I haven't needed to see a doctor for anything too horrible (just your regular strep throat, tonsillitis etc) but I still struggled to pick a "family doctor" and late last year I finally picked another one closer to home (my first choice ended up being awful) but have only met her for the "meet the doctor" visit so will have to see how it goes!
I've also learnt a fair bit about the insurance system here (and I swear I'm working on a post still!).
~ ~ MISTAKEN BELIEFS / IDEAS ~ ~
Traveling Back
In the beginning I thought I would travel home every other year, or maybe people would come here one year, me there the next, but it simply hasn't worked out that way because:
Friends
I really thought that I'd have trouble keeping in contact with friends once I moved but thankfully that's mostly shown to be incorrect.
With smart phones, facebook, viber and skype, it's pretty easy to stay in contact with people, however there are some who aren't online that often who I don't speak to as much (not to mention data costs etc). Of course like all things, these things require effort and conscience thought, but technology certainly is a good thing and I'm very thankful for it.
Shipping
Just like traveling back, shipping has proven to get more and more expensive over time. Again I'm thankful for the internet which at least allows for gifts to be bought online in their respective countries because otherwise it costs a bomb!
I also had plans to bring my personal property back with me when I traveled back and forth, and also when friends/family visited, and that worked to some extent, but there were still a lot of things I still don't have and, like gifts, shipping is expensive!!
Just recently a friend and I shared the cost of shipping a package of comfort food from home and the shipping cost was $120 for 5kgs. I suppose in the grand scheme that's not a lot but when all you want is chocolate (for example) and you add on the cost of shipping for that weight plus the cost of the product themselves, it doesn't really seem that viable. But sometimes all you want is food from home and screw the budget!
Family life
Changes from afar is probably the hardest thing about it all. While I've been here two major changes, one from each end of the spectrum, were that I lost my father, and that one of my sisters has had children.
It's hard to be there both emotionally at the time of need because of time difference, but mostly I notice not being there physically and unable to be an actual shoulder to lean on and help out in those hard times. You can't just rush in and help out.
Then of course you have the fact we miss birthdays, Easter, Christmas and other special events...
These are all things that you expect as an expat, but it's not until they happen that you realise how hard it is sometimes... and thankfully (for me at least) it's not something I feel every day.
Having friends and family understand these things is what keeps you going though... plus having a place for them to stay when they visit overseas :D
---
Please let me know if you'd like me to expand on anything any further, otherwise, till next time (I'll really try harder to not let it be so long next time!!)
In the beginning I thought I would travel home every other year, or maybe people would come here one year, me there the next, but it simply hasn't worked out that way because:
- I underestimated how expensive flights would be in comparison to wages;
- I hoped flights would reduce in cost as time went by and they haven't;
- there have been some surprises pop up here and there that meant we simply couldn't afford to spend $5K or so for a 2 week holiday (taking into account flights, accomodation, food, attractions etc);
- getting enough time off work hasn't been possible except for emergencies. Time off work varies from employer to employer but my previous employer only liked us to take one week at a time and given how expensive it is, it's simply not viable to travel that far for only a week.
Friends
I really thought that I'd have trouble keeping in contact with friends once I moved but thankfully that's mostly shown to be incorrect.
With smart phones, facebook, viber and skype, it's pretty easy to stay in contact with people, however there are some who aren't online that often who I don't speak to as much (not to mention data costs etc). Of course like all things, these things require effort and conscience thought, but technology certainly is a good thing and I'm very thankful for it.
Shipping
Just like traveling back, shipping has proven to get more and more expensive over time. Again I'm thankful for the internet which at least allows for gifts to be bought online in their respective countries because otherwise it costs a bomb!
I also had plans to bring my personal property back with me when I traveled back and forth, and also when friends/family visited, and that worked to some extent, but there were still a lot of things I still don't have and, like gifts, shipping is expensive!!
Just recently a friend and I shared the cost of shipping a package of comfort food from home and the shipping cost was $120 for 5kgs. I suppose in the grand scheme that's not a lot but when all you want is chocolate (for example) and you add on the cost of shipping for that weight plus the cost of the product themselves, it doesn't really seem that viable. But sometimes all you want is food from home and screw the budget!
Family life
Changes from afar is probably the hardest thing about it all. While I've been here two major changes, one from each end of the spectrum, were that I lost my father, and that one of my sisters has had children.
It's hard to be there both emotionally at the time of need because of time difference, but mostly I notice not being there physically and unable to be an actual shoulder to lean on and help out in those hard times. You can't just rush in and help out.
Then of course you have the fact we miss birthdays, Easter, Christmas and other special events...
These are all things that you expect as an expat, but it's not until they happen that you realise how hard it is sometimes... and thankfully (for me at least) it's not something I feel every day.
Having friends and family understand these things is what keeps you going though... plus having a place for them to stay when they visit overseas :D
---
Please let me know if you'd like me to expand on anything any further, otherwise, till next time (I'll really try harder to not let it be so long next time!!)
